i wanted to wait, til i was able to fully compose myself and figure out what i really felt and thought about this tragedy. granted, it's only been 48+ hours, but i feel like i must say something.
during the columbine shootings: i was 13 years old and didn't realize the gravity of that event. i think i was simply paranoid. what if someone snaps at our school?? sure, i felt bad for the kids who lost their lives and their families, but unfortunately, i was more concerned about my own safety, and the people i cared about.
now that i'm a bit older and wiser, i cry for the dead and living victims, students and families. i grieve for them, and altho i know i will never fully understand...as a mother, i can sort of feel a bit of the pain that the parents/families of the college students who lost their lives may feel, and that little bit of pain is devistating to me.
the main thing that disturbs me, is that the gunman gave off so many red flags. teachers expressed their concern with authorities, within the school or otherwise, claiming his behavior and writing were disturbing. students either knew him as a quiet loner or a possible candidate for shooting up the school. and NOTHING was done??
he was able to purchase firearms, despite the fact that he was institutionalized in a mental health clinic? that DID NOT pop up on his record...why?? the gun control policies (or lack thereof) in this nation are FUCKED UP. something needs to be done.
i just hope we learn from our mistakes this time.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
the ronald mcdonald house in houston is run by a bunch of ignorant a-holes
now, as a breastfeeding mother, this really pisses me off. five days ago, a family was harrassed in a ronald mcdonald house because a mother was nursing her sick child in the common room of this particular RMH. i heard of this incident because one of the people involved (the aunt of the sick child) is a member of a message board i frequent. for those of you that don't know, what this RMH is doing is AGAINST THE LAW.
"Tex. Health & Safety Code § 165.001 et seq.Sec. 165.002. Right to Breast-Feed
A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be."
look it up.
the same laws apply in every single state in this nation. this RMH feels as tho they are above the law, and can interpret it in any way they see fit. not only is this poor family dealing with the unimaginable stress of caring for a sick child, but they have to deal with the ignorance of these idiots on top of that.
this is her story:
"My sister and I are staying in the Ronald McDonald House in Houston because one of her 17 month old twins had to have brain surgery to remove a tumor last week. The RMH has been great and we have felt so blessed to find such a safe and homey place to take care of her other two children and my daughter while we are here for Tobin's recovery.
However yesterday my sister, who is nursing the twins, was asked to stop nursing in the communal area of the Ronald McDonald House and to take it up to her room. She was shocked! After his surgery her son will basically only drink breastmilk and it is the only thing that eases the constant pain and anxiety he feels. She told them that it was illegal, according the Texas state law, to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop nursing in any public or private place. She also tried to explain to them how inconvenient it would be for her to take all her children up 3 floors to their room every time her sick child needs to nurse.
Unfortunately after 30 minutes of arguing, and being threatened with being kicked out, she was in tears and they weren't backing down. So I headed down there to talk to the administrator because I am also nursing my three year old daughter. I even pulled up the state law on my laptop and after a lengthy discussion the administrator acted as if she was going to examine the law so she understood it and move on. I thought that was the end of it.
Today I find out they may be kicking us out of the RMH because we refused to comply with what they call their "interpretation of the law". Their interpretation is that if they provide somewhere else for us to nurse they don't have to let us nurse in public places. Since when do laws get to be personally tailored to an organizations needs?
This is a ridiculous and terrible situation for all of us, I am not sure what else we will do if we can't stay here but we can't just not nurse our children. The Ronald McDonald is such a great resource, why do they have to discriminate against nursing moms?
If you would like to send a letter(s) we would appreciate it. Arlene Whatley is The Director of Operations of The Holcombe location of the RMH where we are staying and one of the people who Jessica spoke to about this. It is Arlene that seems to be making the decision here. Her email is awhatley@rmhhouston.org and her phone is (713) 795-3570.
Also her higher ups, The Executive Director can be emailed at nscott@rmhhouston.org and the Director of Administration is srichard@rmhhouston.org. This message may also be shared and reposted as you see fit. Thank you all for your support.
**Update**..please read Update posts for a more info but as of Saturday Afternoon(4/14) we are still being asked not to nurse anywhere but our rooms and Arlene, who I spoke to today by phone, has informed me that she will be contacting the Executive Director and their attorneys on Monday about the situation before any other decisions will be made. I have been told by Arlene that she will do what she needs to do and that I am to "be very careful" about what I decide to do. We are being told that we are not being asked to leave right now and that they never meant that we should have to...despite the fact that Arlene told my sister in front of another RMH employee on speaker phone that families who could not acclimate to the environment at RMH should find somewhere else to stay. She admitted this to me on the phone today, that yes she did tell Jessica that...but that did not mean we actually had to leave. Also the day after she was asked to stop nursing(yesterday) Jessica's social worker was contacted by RMH and was apparently told that she may need to help us make other accommodations. The RMH actually contacted my sister's social worker who handles Tobin's case while he is in the hospital and got her involved...because Jessica was nursing and they are not ok with that? I guess nursing means not acclimating to their environment and she was just trying to intimidate Jessica into stopping the nursing of her sick son. I do want to say that aside from Arlene, and the original employee who asked my sister to stop nursing, we have been treated very well here and want to say that the RMH has great employees as well as the ones bullying us."
yesterday evening, there was a meeting reguarding this assholery. luckily, on the family's side was a representative from the la leche league, and a doctor from the area who has done major research on breastfeeding.
"Ok here is the outcome of the meeting. We got out about and hour ago and I have been trying to find time to post here after returning some phone calls. The meeting was about 2 hours long and included myself and my sister, a representative from the LLL, and a doctor from the area who is responsible for some big research on breastfeeding. I will not mention their names as I have not asked them for permission to do that but we thank them both for their support! We could not have handled the meeting without them. I contacted the suggested LLL person in Texas(again no names) and she sent them right out. She was great as well and worked tirelessly for us today.
From the RMH Arlene, the Director of Operations, as well as Naomi, the Executive Director, attended as well as a couple of their board members. After a very lengthy conversion with many twists and turns the RMH is allowing us to stay. We are from now on allowed to breastfeeding in the communal areas if we follow some rules they have set forth and not too many people complain about it. They said if just one person complains they will tell them they support breastfeeding and discuss with them why they are concerned. If many people were to complain they will have to deal with that as it comes up, they could not say how as they have not encountered the situation.
The rules we are to follow are that we are to be discreet, this is at our discretion, meaning we choose what discreet means but they said they will obviously know if we are not being discreet if people are complaining that they are uncomfortable with us nursing. We are also being asked to inform the people around us before we begin nursing if we think there is anybody that may be uncomfortable with it. We are to tell them nicely that we are going to breastfeed, in case they want to leave or look away.
There was alot of discussion about what discreet meant, but after some pretty silly possibilities for discretion they decided it would be up to us as to what that meant. They said they would not bother us about nursing again unless many people complained, which nobody felt was likely to happen.
The RMH wanted us to tell everybody that the RMH supports breastfeeding moms...they were VERY adamant about it. You can decide for yourself if that is true, I am only passing on what they said to us. Now, at this point, this only applies to us. When asked how other nursing moms would be treated they said they cannot make any changes right in the room but that they will be examining the practice, or oral guidelines, of asking breastfeeding moms to stop. They said they did not have the power to make policy change, it had to go to the board; which they said they would seriously discuss doing. Obviously alot more was said in 2 hours but this is the gist of the situation. If they really do examine their guideline this could be a really good thing but we will have to follow up to make sure that happened. Please if you decide to write anymore letters(and they received ALOT of letters) please do so to encourage them to reexamine thier guidelines and to thank them for considering it. Although they were not apologetic to us they have agreed to reexamine their stance and this could be really good for alot of nursing moms. If we handle this correctly this could mean national change for the RMH.
We will be waiting to find out how this plays out in the following days and will will update as needed. Lots of media have contacted us from all kinds of large outlets and I am still not sure who, if anyone, I will talk to at this point. We are trying to decide how to best help ALL moms.
We want this to benefit moms across the board so me and Jessica will be working to change their guidelines as we go. And the LLL says they will continue to offer us support. We are not giving up on a full scale policy protecting moms, but we will have to wait for a board decision on that. This will take time but I am confident that we can make this happen. THANK YOU ALL FOR OUR SUPPORT!!!!! Above all if you all had not done what you have done I suspect we would not have had the outcome we did or even had that meeting. Your advice and input is welcome here as to how we should proceed and we will be checking in. Thank you."
i don't know about you, but i think the outcome of that meeting blows.
what's up with this "discreet" thing? first of all, i can only assume the nursing mothers weren't exactly jumping on tables, screaming, "I BREASTFEED, BITCHES!!!" at the top of their lungs while ripping their shirts off and squirting everyone with breastmilk. in fact, i'm sure they were more covered up than anything on a friggin' lad mag cover, but omg...a child was attached to a tit. the horror, the horror.
and they must announce to everyone else in the common area that they are about to nurse?? why??? this is ridiculous, humiliating, unnecessary...in short, justice has not been served.
that's exactly why i'm posting this contact information.
RMH-Houston contact info:
Arlene Whatley-Director of Operations of The Holcombe location of the RMH awhatley@rmhhouston.org
(713) 795-3570
Naomi Scott-Executive Director of same-
nscott@rmhhouston.org
713.795.3560
Susie Richard- Director of Administration-
srichard@rmhhouston.org
Here's the TX Attorney general's home page:
http://www.oag.state.tx.us/oagnews/#toppage
here is his address:
Office of the Attorney General
PO Box 12548 Austin, TX
78711-2548
his email address is:
greg.abbott@oag.state.tx.us
to reach the main agency switchboard, call: 512-463-2100
"License to Breastfeed in public; It's the law!" (Distributed by TX Dept. of State Health Services that INCLUDES a number to call/address to write/email address and home page to report NEGATIVE and positive experiences). The state will send them a letter!
http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/bf...3-06-10830.pdf
call1-512-458-7111 ext.6663-
Chan McDermott (just had a GREAT conversation with her and emailed her this link.)
write:
Mother-Friendly Worksite Program
Texas Department of State Health Services
1100 West 49th Street
Austin, TX 78756
email: julie.stagg@dshs.state.tx.us
or website: www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/lactate/mother.shtm
RMH Letter Writing Info:
Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMH Headquarters)
One Kroc Drive
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Phone: 630-623-7048
Fax: 630-623-7488
Houston RMH:
Ronald McDonald House
1907 Holcombe Boulevard
Houston, TX (1) 77030
Phone : 713 795-3500
Fax : 713 795-3557
if you're as pissed as i am, please help these people out. give RMH hell, and let the attourney general of texas know what is going on and how you feel about it. the more emails, letters and phone calls, the more likely a change will occur.
already, the news has spread like wildfire all over the internet. supposedly, the RMH in houston has received so many emails that it has crashed their servers. they're also losing donors both large (we're talking six figures here) and small. hopefully they realize what a huge mistake they're making, apologize to this family, and change their policy. this sort of ignorance needs to cease already.
***UPDATE*** the family, being unsatisfied with the ridiculous "guidelines" and temporary bending of the rules they have to follow in order to stay at the RMH, has now decided to take serious action in order to protect the rights of breastfeeding mothers in the future. they will be contacting the media and others so that this will never happen again at another RMH. keep helping them fight the good fight!
also, starting tomorrow (4/19) http://www.birthwithoutboundaries.com/ will be allowing the family to post news and updates on their website.
"Tex. Health & Safety Code § 165.001 et seq.Sec. 165.002. Right to Breast-Feed
A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be."
look it up.
the same laws apply in every single state in this nation. this RMH feels as tho they are above the law, and can interpret it in any way they see fit. not only is this poor family dealing with the unimaginable stress of caring for a sick child, but they have to deal with the ignorance of these idiots on top of that.
this is her story:
"My sister and I are staying in the Ronald McDonald House in Houston because one of her 17 month old twins had to have brain surgery to remove a tumor last week. The RMH has been great and we have felt so blessed to find such a safe and homey place to take care of her other two children and my daughter while we are here for Tobin's recovery.
However yesterday my sister, who is nursing the twins, was asked to stop nursing in the communal area of the Ronald McDonald House and to take it up to her room. She was shocked! After his surgery her son will basically only drink breastmilk and it is the only thing that eases the constant pain and anxiety he feels. She told them that it was illegal, according the Texas state law, to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop nursing in any public or private place. She also tried to explain to them how inconvenient it would be for her to take all her children up 3 floors to their room every time her sick child needs to nurse.
Unfortunately after 30 minutes of arguing, and being threatened with being kicked out, she was in tears and they weren't backing down. So I headed down there to talk to the administrator because I am also nursing my three year old daughter. I even pulled up the state law on my laptop and after a lengthy discussion the administrator acted as if she was going to examine the law so she understood it and move on. I thought that was the end of it.
Today I find out they may be kicking us out of the RMH because we refused to comply with what they call their "interpretation of the law". Their interpretation is that if they provide somewhere else for us to nurse they don't have to let us nurse in public places. Since when do laws get to be personally tailored to an organizations needs?
This is a ridiculous and terrible situation for all of us, I am not sure what else we will do if we can't stay here but we can't just not nurse our children. The Ronald McDonald is such a great resource, why do they have to discriminate against nursing moms?
If you would like to send a letter(s) we would appreciate it. Arlene Whatley is The Director of Operations of The Holcombe location of the RMH where we are staying and one of the people who Jessica spoke to about this. It is Arlene that seems to be making the decision here. Her email is awhatley@rmhhouston.org and her phone is (713) 795-3570.
Also her higher ups, The Executive Director can be emailed at nscott@rmhhouston.org and the Director of Administration is srichard@rmhhouston.org. This message may also be shared and reposted as you see fit. Thank you all for your support.
**Update**..please read Update posts for a more info but as of Saturday Afternoon(4/14) we are still being asked not to nurse anywhere but our rooms and Arlene, who I spoke to today by phone, has informed me that she will be contacting the Executive Director and their attorneys on Monday about the situation before any other decisions will be made. I have been told by Arlene that she will do what she needs to do and that I am to "be very careful" about what I decide to do. We are being told that we are not being asked to leave right now and that they never meant that we should have to...despite the fact that Arlene told my sister in front of another RMH employee on speaker phone that families who could not acclimate to the environment at RMH should find somewhere else to stay. She admitted this to me on the phone today, that yes she did tell Jessica that...but that did not mean we actually had to leave. Also the day after she was asked to stop nursing(yesterday) Jessica's social worker was contacted by RMH and was apparently told that she may need to help us make other accommodations. The RMH actually contacted my sister's social worker who handles Tobin's case while he is in the hospital and got her involved...because Jessica was nursing and they are not ok with that? I guess nursing means not acclimating to their environment and she was just trying to intimidate Jessica into stopping the nursing of her sick son. I do want to say that aside from Arlene, and the original employee who asked my sister to stop nursing, we have been treated very well here and want to say that the RMH has great employees as well as the ones bullying us."
yesterday evening, there was a meeting reguarding this assholery. luckily, on the family's side was a representative from the la leche league, and a doctor from the area who has done major research on breastfeeding.
"Ok here is the outcome of the meeting. We got out about and hour ago and I have been trying to find time to post here after returning some phone calls. The meeting was about 2 hours long and included myself and my sister, a representative from the LLL, and a doctor from the area who is responsible for some big research on breastfeeding. I will not mention their names as I have not asked them for permission to do that but we thank them both for their support! We could not have handled the meeting without them. I contacted the suggested LLL person in Texas(again no names) and she sent them right out. She was great as well and worked tirelessly for us today.
From the RMH Arlene, the Director of Operations, as well as Naomi, the Executive Director, attended as well as a couple of their board members. After a very lengthy conversion with many twists and turns the RMH is allowing us to stay. We are from now on allowed to breastfeeding in the communal areas if we follow some rules they have set forth and not too many people complain about it. They said if just one person complains they will tell them they support breastfeeding and discuss with them why they are concerned. If many people were to complain they will have to deal with that as it comes up, they could not say how as they have not encountered the situation.
The rules we are to follow are that we are to be discreet, this is at our discretion, meaning we choose what discreet means but they said they will obviously know if we are not being discreet if people are complaining that they are uncomfortable with us nursing. We are also being asked to inform the people around us before we begin nursing if we think there is anybody that may be uncomfortable with it. We are to tell them nicely that we are going to breastfeed, in case they want to leave or look away.
There was alot of discussion about what discreet meant, but after some pretty silly possibilities for discretion they decided it would be up to us as to what that meant. They said they would not bother us about nursing again unless many people complained, which nobody felt was likely to happen.
The RMH wanted us to tell everybody that the RMH supports breastfeeding moms...they were VERY adamant about it. You can decide for yourself if that is true, I am only passing on what they said to us. Now, at this point, this only applies to us. When asked how other nursing moms would be treated they said they cannot make any changes right in the room but that they will be examining the practice, or oral guidelines, of asking breastfeeding moms to stop. They said they did not have the power to make policy change, it had to go to the board; which they said they would seriously discuss doing. Obviously alot more was said in 2 hours but this is the gist of the situation. If they really do examine their guideline this could be a really good thing but we will have to follow up to make sure that happened. Please if you decide to write anymore letters(and they received ALOT of letters) please do so to encourage them to reexamine thier guidelines and to thank them for considering it. Although they were not apologetic to us they have agreed to reexamine their stance and this could be really good for alot of nursing moms. If we handle this correctly this could mean national change for the RMH.
We will be waiting to find out how this plays out in the following days and will will update as needed. Lots of media have contacted us from all kinds of large outlets and I am still not sure who, if anyone, I will talk to at this point. We are trying to decide how to best help ALL moms.
We want this to benefit moms across the board so me and Jessica will be working to change their guidelines as we go. And the LLL says they will continue to offer us support. We are not giving up on a full scale policy protecting moms, but we will have to wait for a board decision on that. This will take time but I am confident that we can make this happen. THANK YOU ALL FOR OUR SUPPORT!!!!! Above all if you all had not done what you have done I suspect we would not have had the outcome we did or even had that meeting. Your advice and input is welcome here as to how we should proceed and we will be checking in. Thank you."
i don't know about you, but i think the outcome of that meeting blows.
what's up with this "discreet" thing? first of all, i can only assume the nursing mothers weren't exactly jumping on tables, screaming, "I BREASTFEED, BITCHES!!!" at the top of their lungs while ripping their shirts off and squirting everyone with breastmilk. in fact, i'm sure they were more covered up than anything on a friggin' lad mag cover, but omg...a child was attached to a tit. the horror, the horror.
and they must announce to everyone else in the common area that they are about to nurse?? why??? this is ridiculous, humiliating, unnecessary...in short, justice has not been served.
that's exactly why i'm posting this contact information.
RMH-Houston contact info:
Arlene Whatley-Director of Operations of The Holcombe location of the RMH awhatley@rmhhouston.org
(713) 795-3570
Naomi Scott-Executive Director of same-
nscott@rmhhouston.org
713.795.3560
Susie Richard- Director of Administration-
srichard@rmhhouston.org
Here's the TX Attorney general's home page:
http://www.oag.state.tx.us/oagnews/#toppage
here is his address:
Office of the Attorney General
PO Box 12548 Austin, TX
78711-2548
his email address is:
greg.abbott@oag.state.tx.us
to reach the main agency switchboard, call: 512-463-2100
"License to Breastfeed in public; It's the law!" (Distributed by TX Dept. of State Health Services that INCLUDES a number to call/address to write/email address and home page to report NEGATIVE and positive experiences). The state will send them a letter!
http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/bf...3-06-10830.pdf
call1-512-458-7111 ext.6663-
Chan McDermott (just had a GREAT conversation with her and emailed her this link.)
write:
Mother-Friendly Worksite Program
Texas Department of State Health Services
1100 West 49th Street
Austin, TX 78756
email: julie.stagg@dshs.state.tx.us
or website: www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/lactate/mother.shtm
RMH Letter Writing Info:
Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMH Headquarters)
One Kroc Drive
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Phone: 630-623-7048
Fax: 630-623-7488
Houston RMH:
Ronald McDonald House
1907 Holcombe Boulevard
Houston, TX (1) 77030
Phone : 713 795-3500
Fax : 713 795-3557
if you're as pissed as i am, please help these people out. give RMH hell, and let the attourney general of texas know what is going on and how you feel about it. the more emails, letters and phone calls, the more likely a change will occur.
already, the news has spread like wildfire all over the internet. supposedly, the RMH in houston has received so many emails that it has crashed their servers. they're also losing donors both large (we're talking six figures here) and small. hopefully they realize what a huge mistake they're making, apologize to this family, and change their policy. this sort of ignorance needs to cease already.
***UPDATE*** the family, being unsatisfied with the ridiculous "guidelines" and temporary bending of the rules they have to follow in order to stay at the RMH, has now decided to take serious action in order to protect the rights of breastfeeding mothers in the future. they will be contacting the media and others so that this will never happen again at another RMH. keep helping them fight the good fight!
also, starting tomorrow (4/19) http://www.birthwithoutboundaries.com/ will be allowing the family to post news and updates on their website.
Monday, April 16, 2007
da-da-da-daaaaa!!! first post
i can't believe i started a blog.
will anyone read it, i wonder?
*looks around nervously*
now that i have a blog....does that mean i'm, like.........cool now??
ummmm.........so, yeah...anyway:
my name is mika, i'm 21 years old, and stay-at-home mom. i have a 10 month old little turd-baby named roxie jane, who fills all my days with giggles, sunshine, rainbows, and the occasional headache. my sugar daddy's name is brian (also 21), he's a carpenter and a kick-ass father to our baby. right now, we're living with my mom while we save money for a place of our own, and while i train to work in medical billing.
as you can probably imagine, being a SAHM is not the most exciting job in the world, so i've decided to start this blog as a hobby, so as not to become so bored that i develop a nasty drug habit or something. most of what you'll see on here will be my two cents on all the crazy shit that goes on in this world. other times i'll talk about my boyfriend's chronic night-farting. sometimes you'll laugh, perhaps even shed a tear or two. stay tuned!
xoxo,
mika
will anyone read it, i wonder?
*looks around nervously*
now that i have a blog....does that mean i'm, like.........cool now??
ummmm.........so, yeah...anyway:
my name is mika, i'm 21 years old, and stay-at-home mom. i have a 10 month old little turd-baby named roxie jane, who fills all my days with giggles, sunshine, rainbows, and the occasional headache. my sugar daddy's name is brian (also 21), he's a carpenter and a kick-ass father to our baby. right now, we're living with my mom while we save money for a place of our own, and while i train to work in medical billing.
as you can probably imagine, being a SAHM is not the most exciting job in the world, so i've decided to start this blog as a hobby, so as not to become so bored that i develop a nasty drug habit or something. most of what you'll see on here will be my two cents on all the crazy shit that goes on in this world. other times i'll talk about my boyfriend's chronic night-farting. sometimes you'll laugh, perhaps even shed a tear or two. stay tuned!
xoxo,
mika
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